And even though the moment passed me by
I still can't turn away
Cause all the dreams you never thought you'd lose
Got tossed along the way
And letters that you never meant to send
Get lost or thrown away

And now we're grown up orphans
That never knew their names
We don't belong to no one
That's a shame
But if you could hide beside me
Maybe for a while
And I won't tell no one your name

Scars are souvenirs you never lose
The past is never far
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there
Did you get to be a star
And don't it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are

You grew up way too fast
And now there's nothing to believe
And reruns all become our history
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio
And I won't tell no one your name
And I won't tell em your name

I think about you all the time
But I don't need the same I
t's lonely where you are come back down
And I won't tell em your name

What do you do when you can feel, witness, feel, see, comprehend, *realize*, feel that you are being sidelined?
That you hold absolutely no importance in that very person's life who seemed so much to empathise with you? Who you empathised with? What do you do when you feel indifferent towards someone who was so important in your life? When you simply don't feel like bothering to ask "Oh how are you doing?"
When you don't wish to be around that person or talk to them or hear their steady droning voice?
When you start feeling angry- angry because you're guilty of something you aren't even aware of.
When you start slipping in a downward spiral.
When the facade falls and you are left disturbed.
When the layers of hypocritical denial and complacence are pierced and you feel like exploding into a thousand tiny bits of exasperation and in a strange way, satisfaction.
And then dissolve, dissolve, dissolve.
Become a heterogenous solvent that might just crystallise into something even more ridiculous!

It seemed as though the ferryboat was a part of that frozen lake that simply refused to thaw.
It seemed as if the blues would somehow swallow all the hues surrounding it.
It feels strange to be writing these random bits of gibberish considering its autumn and there is no trace of blue anywhere.
The sky too is bleached.
At times you force yourself yourself to think because it can be scary to feel stupefied and blank.

And the violets were blending seamlessly with the fuschia and the oranges.
A sunny day when you feel like stopping by that random tree and searching for a scope to analyse a butterfly pupa?
No. Wait. Does that sound suspicious?
Maybe.
The kind of day when you actually feel like celebrating perhaps. Anything. Doesn't matter. Reasons hardly make any sense. Anymore.
So I think Iam going to sit here. Thats right. I'll get up and take hesitant peeks outside, from time to time, well hidden behind the folds of these heavy curtains and I'll think of reasons not to go out.

Iam suddenly reminded of Super Mario.
Those magic mushrooms.
Metaphorical or what?
:)

There will be time, there will be time

To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;

There will be time to murder and create,

And time for all the works and days of hands

That lift and drop a question on your plate;

Time for you and time for me,

And time yet for a hundred indecisions,

And for a hundred visions and revisions,

Before the taking of a toast and tea.


Another poetry session was concluded.
Random blurry images rushing past like torrents of uninhibited garbage.
And then the moment of truth?
She gets up and walks a few paces and comes to a suitable conclusion.
But ofcourse, he must be told!
And so he is.

"because we are so immune/detached/unaware/scared/paranoid about reality and physicality and real love and we are so scared of rejection/denial/boredom that we have convinced each other that we are the perfect one for each other but since that cant be fulfilled either we are trying to convince each other and more importantly ourselves that real and true love are different and we are so so so very devoted to that idea that we have perfectly convinced ourselves and we are now convinced that we are insane because we are too scared to know what it actually can be."

I rest my case.
I plead insanity.